I can do this.

I've had a really bad day today. Well, it's not all bad. It started off good, at least. I went and ran a few errands, and even joined the gym today - so I felt like 'Right, I'm making a start again... let's get something done this time, Chubby Bunny'. Then all that feeling good came to a crash. I got out of my car, literally a meter from my footpath when someone shouted:

'MOVE OUT THE WAY YOU FAT C*NT'

...And I was horrified. I shouted at them, then fled up the stairs and bawled my eyes out. I'd literally just came back from signing up for the gym. Something that it took me a lot to commit to, as it is. I mean don't get me wrong; I'm fat, I've had people point out the obvious to me more times than I can shake a stick at. But to be spoken to in such a way, with such disregard made me feel horrendous. I'm still feeling quite rubbish about it now if I'm being honest. I know, I know 'Oh, pay no attention to them!' and 'They don't know what they're talking about!' are the phrases that people would say to reassure me and calm me, but these kids were strangers. They quite clearly didn't give a f*ck how I'd take being called that. So why would they sugar coat it? I am fat, and it's something I've always known deep down but never really come to terms with entirely.

Okay, so I had a little cry - because really, I am soft. But now... I feel like I'm ready now to make another start to losing weight. I'm gonna be more assertive, and not so lazy. I'm going to go to the gym not because I want to, but because I have to. I need to get out of this body and generate some self worth. I never want to hear those words directed at me ever again.

I'm back this time, hopefully, for the foreseeable future. I can do this.